Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
