so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You were trust falling into bushes
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
