I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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