So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
