Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Randomize
