I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
