No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
