I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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