I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Let's get the cat blown out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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