at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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