ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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