the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
there is glitter all over my balls
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
