Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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