Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
