It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
