There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
