dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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