I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
