so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
