I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i love accidental penises.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
