i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
