dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
