Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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