I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I will pee on everything he values.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
