I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
