Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
