I can't watch pbs sober anymore
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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