Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
