I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
