'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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