so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
