Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
