How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
did i just pee glitter
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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