Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
