Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
