she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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