I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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