I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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