I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
