saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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