seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
