we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i black out too much to be "responsible"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
