ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
