i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
