she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
