Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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