I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
