You can't special order awesome
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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