i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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