that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
love makes seman taste better
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
